[Subtitles by danielsangeo]
Okay, I'm not too sure what's going on
here, but that guy dropped his gun.
And guns open up a
wide world of opportunities.
It has blood on it, but it's a glock...
I want more things to shoot!
Besides this pile of rancid meat.
Okay, I don't think I've
fired a gun before
but shooting things feels very familiar.
And I didn't even have that dream
where I was Snoop Dogg again.
Yeah, I don't know, I think
I shot somebody last night.
Well, I'm sure they had it coming.
But, if that's true, I may have screwed
up WAY more than usual this time.
And what the hell are these things?
I think maybe these are some
carnivorous plant cross-breeds that
the Biology Department was working on
where the containment obviously failed.
Kind of like Little Shop of Horrors.
Except we're the Big Shop of Horrors!
Well, I think that's making sense.
but how do I play into this?
I was probably down there trying to
hit on Heather again and
maybe she just lost it and
knocked me unconscious
Then tried to dump my body because,
let's face it, she's pretty stone cold.
Well, it didn't work, Heather!
You can't stop the Freeman!
Well, okay, I guess doors
can stop the Freeman, but
This kind of takes all the
wind out of my image.
Actually, I don't know if
this was the Biology Department...
Because, whatever those
things are, they're animals.
And we don't do a lot of
engineering with animals.
There's just not enough money in it.
Wait, I'm going backwards.
I mean, there was that pollen
we developed for Monsanto
Everybody was really proud of that.
I'm going to go out this way.
Goat cheese massacre!
That hurts my knees!
This suit needs shock absorbers.
Why am I wearing this suit anyway?
I don't think I would've
been THAT stupid.
If Black Mesa reported it stolen,
somehow I think the police would know
to look for the last person
who was wearing it.
I couldn't have been trying to steal it.
Why, this must be--! Yeah, I'm lost.
So, if I'm wearing this suit,
that must mean we had an experiment.
Hey, we did do the
experiment! I remember.
Okay, so we had the experiment.
Then what happened?
Then I had to kill a
bunch of COCKROACHES!
...want them all to DIE! STOP!
And...okay, this is easy to figure out.
Because, if the experiment was a success,
I would've partied all night
And got drunk off my ass and
probably woke up in a Dumpster. But!
I woke up sober and that sucks.
So, that must mean the
experiment was NOT a success.
I probably got into some fights, then.
Oh, man! This is where I just was!
Ah well, it beats the desert.
So, my prosperity is assured.
Now, I just have to find someone
and tell them I'm lost.
If they laugh at me
I point my gun at them.
If they tell me they're too busy to talk
I point my gun at them.
Okay, I don't think I've tried
this giant pot-stirring room.
I'm not sure what they're stirring,
but I'm guessing anything luminescent
and neon-green isn't very tasty.
Okay, now if I hang down
properly, this should work.
Now, I just need to learn to do that faster
so I'll be ready when I come to work
with the smoke bombs.
Wait, which way is north?
This is just some
chemical processing facility.
I don't remember what I was planning to
do today, but I'm sure this isn't it.
Black Mesa is NOT a tourist trap.
Of course! I've already been here.
It's not just me! NO ONE should be here.
No one comes to a half-abandoned
warehouse unless they work there
they're trying to film
a low-budget horror movie,
or they're a photographer taking
bullshit black-and-white photos
And I'm going the wrong way again!
I supposed I shouldn't expect the red
carpet treatment breaking and entering
into to the site of a chemical plant,
but I still find the building layout
confusing and I'll lodge a complaint
with the administration
if I find the front desk.
Oh, and I would also
like to file a complaint
about the number of locked doors here
and about the mutant animals
that appear to be eating people.
Trespasser or not, I have rights
and I'm entitled to a reasonable
expectation of safety and comfort
when I break into a place.
This is America, after all!
I need to get an attorney.
This whole situation is completely
unreasonable for someone of my stature.
Jesus Christ, this is the wrong way, too!
Alright, I'm going to have to start
thinking outside the box here.
I should think less like a
human being that uses doors
and more like a squirrel
that has anger problems.
Besides, I think it's entirely possible
I'm the first person
to ever set foot here.
My name will be in history books.
Therefore, as these are new territories
discovered by the Nation of Freeman
any and all claims shall henceforth
be named after me.
The official name of this
monument will be...the...
Freeman Industrial-Strength Mixer
With Green Crap Inside of It.
Hey, I think that's an
entrance over there.
That seems entirely worth the risk.
Especially since I really
don't know the contents of this.
I mean, there's the
possibility that this really is
just a giant vat of gelatin and dye
even though it doesn't smell like it...
I mean, this is normal,
what I'm doing, right?
People do things like this all the time
when they get locked out of their office.
And.... Oh, wow.
That thing could take my head off.
See, this is how you get promoted.
What I'm doing right now, this
is progress.
Eh, if this ends up being a fuel line
and gas starts flooding in here
I'm going to look really stupid.